The Butterfly

THE BUTTERFLY

It had been a hectic day for Tom and Jenny and as they made their way into the apartment the clock gonged the midnight hour.

‘Yipes we are late’ giggled Jenny, ‘I will never get to work on time tomorrow’.

‘Mm, I don’t know why they let these meetings go on so late especially as it is only Tuesday,’ coughed Tom.

‘Are you getting a cold?’

‘Not sure I think it is more like indigestion I have a pain in the middle of my chest’ Tom explained, ‘that’s why my speech was so bad this evening.   I just could not seem to get through my report.’ He started coughing again but this time had to run to the bathroom to throw up. 

  

‘I’ll get you some Eno’ said Jenny as she made her way to the kitchen yawning widely.

Suddenly there was a very loud snoring noise coming from the bedroom.   Jenny stopped in her tracks.   Surely Tom could not have fallen asleep so quickly, she turned abruptly and went to investigate.   As she went through the bedroom door she stopped and stared in horror.   Tom was arched backwards over the bed his eyes tightly closed, his face the colour of beetroot and his jaw locked.    The noise that emanated from him was like nothing Jenny had ever heard before.   Something was very wrong!

What happened next was a complete blur to Jenny but she must have called the ambulance, the doctor, her children and the priest because they all arrived within minutes and took over.

She had tried to administer CPR but battled.

Life as they had known it was shattered!   Tom died there in their double bed.   Jenny was numb.

The weeks after the funeral seemed to Jenny to happen on the periphery of her existence because she felt disconnected from reality!   She had gone back to work and she was there physically but mentally she was not.   It took all her strength to force herself to meet deadlines.   To sign the endless forms connected to winding up the estate.   To keep up with the many invitations of support from her friends and colleagues and her children were very worried.  

Not only had they lost their special father but their mother was slowly slipping away from them as well.

Everyone told her time would heal the hole in her heart.   Yet as time went on the hole just seemed to get bigger.

Circumstances made her sell the apartment and downsize.   Everyone said it would help her to de-clutter and start anew.   Yet that just seemed to open the wound and make her realize even more what she had lost.

It was at night that the loneliness pervaded her soul.   Jenny took to surfing the internet and kept up to date on her facebook.   She found solace in seeing the posts her children put on their pages and loved looking at the photos of her wonderful grandchildren.

Then one night as she was paging through the endless motivational stuff posted by her many friends she came across a poem.   It was like a jolt from the blue!   It read ‘Let me go!’

‘Miss me a little –but not for too long,

And not with your head bowed low.

Remember the love that we once shared

Miss me –but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take,

And each one must go alone

It’s all part of the master plan,

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart

Go to the friends we know

And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,

Miss me – but let me go.’

Author unknown

Jenny sat and read and re read the poem for hours.   Surely it was wrong.   Surely she should mourn her mate, her best friend, her lover.   Surely she should hold him close to her heart forever.  

Eventually it came to her in the early hours of the morning as she lay weeping into her pillow.   Tom had gone.   He was never coming back.   She would always have the memories they held so dear but she was alone now and needed to live her life.   Living in the past was not doing her any good.   Her heart was broken but she was still alive and she had to meet the mornings without him.   She fell into a deep sleep and slept fitfully for the first time since Tom’s death.

The following morning when she awoke she looked at Tom’s pillow on his side of the bed as she usually did and suddenly she sat bolt upright.   Hovering above the pillow was a beautiful butterfly.   As she stared at it a feeling inside her made her feel at peace.   She felt it was a sign from Tom to say that she had made the right decision or was it just a coincidence?